you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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