I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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