my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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