What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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