she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My Sexting was not on an AP level
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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