so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
