trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
