Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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