i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize