I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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