Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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