I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
