we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
