its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
