The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
