I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize