So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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