I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
