All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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