My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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