he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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