No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
