Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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