Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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