and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
