when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
