her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
