obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
