i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
