Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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