Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
