**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Found the puke drawer
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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