Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
