I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
