i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
