now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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