I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
