Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
someone threw a dead crab at me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
