dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
