I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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