Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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