Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
