Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
