it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
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I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
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My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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