there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
