carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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