We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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