Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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