The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
