Apparently you make a good broom.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i will never coherently bang her
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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