im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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