Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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