I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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