I'm drive I can fine osifer
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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