I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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