Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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