I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
