I wish life had little blips of pornography
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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