Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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