Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
