you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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