wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
