Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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